[Mishmash] Conservative vs. Liberal

[Fred Atkinson]

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is a homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is a homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he turns the channel.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced; unless it's a foreign religion, of course.

If a conservative needs health care, he goes about shopping for it or may choose a job that provides it. 
If a liberal needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs, and is embarrassed..
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor, and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended". 

(I had a good laugh, which one are you?) 
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